FACULTY 01 • DEPT CODE: RMKT-DEPT
Department of Rasode Me Kaun Tha (Culinary Espionage)
Chairperson: Prof. Kokila Ben • Whistle Forensic Wing
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Comprehensive inquiry into household kitchen politics. Students investigate pressure cooker thermodynamics, the precise micro-seconds in which chickpeas were extracted, and the existential inquiry: "Ye Rashi thi?"
RMKT-101: The Empty Cooker Mystery
Thermal dynamics of an empty Hawkins cooker boiling dry on medium gas flame.
RMKT-204: Declamatory Vocal Acoustics
Techniques for repeating dramatic questions in minor pentatonic scale.
RMKT-308: Chana Forensics
Trace chemical analysis of legume residue in porcelain washbasins.
FACULTY 02 • DEPT CODE: TFR-DEPT
Center for Thala For A Reason Numerology
Chairperson: Dr. Dhoni Bhakt • Accredited by 7 Billion Universes
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Groundbreaking cosmological department demonstrating that every historical milestone, mathematical constant, and cricket score can be reduced to the sacred digit 7 through imaginative arithmetic manipulation.
TFR-107: Seven-Letter Linguistics
Counting letters in any given sentence to confirm that Thala is indeed the reason.
TFR-207: Final Over Heartbeat Mechanics
Calculating how remaining ice-cool with a heart rate of 34 bpm wins matches.
TFR-777: Cosmic Jersey Calculus
Proof that gravity, speed of light, and solar radiation are all divisible by 7.
FACULTY 03 • DEPT CODE: SGB-DEPT
Department of Sonam Gupta Bewafa Studies & Banknote Forensics
Chairperson: Prof. Banke Lal (Devdas Fellow)
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Tracing the global monetary phenomenon of scribbling unrequited romantic grievances on legal tender. Explores currency circulation velocity and ballpoint ink adhesion on Gandhi watermarks.
SGB-101: Banknote Calligraphy
Optimal blue Reynolds pen angles for maximum legibility across soiled currency notes.
SGB-202: Betrayal Circulation Models
How a single ₹10 note travels from a Kanpur pan shop to a London ATM within 14 days.
SGB-305: Comparative Bewafai
Comparing Shakespearean tragedies with anonymous scribbles on demonetized paper.
FACULTY 04 • DEPT CODE: BND-JCB
School of Binod Protocols & JCB Ki Khudai Observation Dynamics
Chairperson: Master Binod & Yellow Excavator Society
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Rigorous training in post-verbal communication and public spectator psychology. Learn how to dismantle any philosophical treatise with one single comment: "Binod", or achieve nirvana watching an excavator dig dirt.
BND-101: Monosyllabic Domination
How to silence a panel of 8 geopolitical experts by commenting 'Binod' under the livestream.
JCB-201: The Hands-Behind-Back Posture
Ergonomics of standing motionless at a construction site for 3 hours holding a hot chai cup.
AYN-101: Aayein? Baigan Metaphysics
How to answer 'What is your ambition?' with 'Baigan' to dismantle subjective reality.
FACULTY 05 • DEPT CODE: GMG-FLORAL
Department of 5:00 AM Floral GIF Engineering & Marigold Dynamics
Chairperson: Uncle Sharma Ji & RWA Morning Broadcast Guild
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Mastering the art of flooding 14 family WhatsApp groups before sunrise with sparkling rose animations, tea cups emitting heart-shaped steam, and quotes attributed incorrectly to Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam.
GMG-101: Sunrise Broadcast Velocity
Techniques for hitting 'Forward to All' at 4:58 AM before any relative wakes up.
GMG-202: Glitter Compression Analysis
Optimizing 360p resolution animated marigolds to consume 100% of cousin's phone storage.
GMG-309: Unread Message Multiplication
How to generate 999+ unread notifications in the family group by 6:30 AM sharp.
